My Life Is So Boring

My mom used to get so mad when I said I was bored as a child.  I feel like she would get equally as mad if she heard me say I was boring now.  When we first sat down to write this blog, we were both like “ugh, but we haven’t done anything cool this week!”  Isn’t that sad? We’re so spoiled that we actually forgot all the cool stuff we’ve done in this foreign country?  I think it is.  Feel free to judge us; I am.

I’ll start out like Evelyn is starting, because since we live in the same room and are together nearly 24 hours a day, it’s only fitting that we have the exact same things to say.

The weather here sucks.  No, really.  Ask anyone back home and they’ll probably forward you a screenshot I’ve sent them of the weather.  Rain, everyday.  EXCEPT when we’re in class, then it’s blue skies and warm weather.  Thankfully I’ve been lucky enough to suffer through two sunburns from sitting on the roof during class. But usually as soon as we’re out of class, the clouds come out to play and taunt me.  Are tan lines attractive? Because I currently have a nasty shoe tan-line and the ever-so-sexy sports bra/tank top tan line and I’m trying to reassure myself that it’s coming back into style.  Is it?  I think it is… tell me it is. Pasty pale legs are cool, too.  Right?  I haven’t gotten to sport any shorts since I’ve arrived, so pretty much my lower calves and ankles are the only things that have seen the sun.  I’ll be the hottest thing in Chicago come August 11th!

“August 11th, Andi? I thought you were going to visit your dad?”  Yeah, that was the original plan and a decent chunk of the reason that I came to Central America.  But sometimes life doesn’t quite work out that way, and thus I will be heading back home a few weeks early!  Which is probably best for my mental health.  I can only handle seeing so many mangy street dogs without breaking down in tears in the middle of 5a Calle screaming for Beau.  As much as I would like to stay that extra time and see more of this area and see my dad, a girl’s got responsibilities that usually don’t wait more than 5 weeks.

Moving on, last Sunday our host family was nice enough to invite us to hike a little baby mountain with them.  We happily agreed, and then kicked ourselves under the table when they tricked us into going at 6am.  (Side note: We also kicked at least one dog each since they sit patiently waiting at our feet constantly like little barking demons intent on making us hate them.) We spent the whole morning desperately hoping that they would forget and we could crawl back into bed, but alas, in true Guatemalan fashion, everyone appeared out of the walls at 6:15, happy, chatty, and ready to go.  Thankfully, only a few of the inhabitants of our new home joined us. I bet you’re thinking that must mean that only 2 or 3 people came right? Psh, come on.  No, that just means that only 5 out of the 10 joined us. And thankfully, no dogs. The family is perfect.  Aside from being a hurricane of noise from 5am until 11:30pm, they’re so cute and chatty and what I image young teens would post on instagram with the hashtag “#familygoals.”  The hike was short and not too difficult (horrible flashbacks to the asthma turned panic attack on the side of the mountain in Switzerland) and once we reached the top we relished in the beauty that is this country that we call home for a few more weeks.

After we ate breakfast, the family invited us on a picnic, which all of the family members made appearances at and 5 dogs attended.  I fell asleep in the grass.  I snored.  That’s okay, it’s fine. I’m sure no one heard……. Right? Cause I’m sure it was cute little lady like snores.  The point is, I was pretty much over the whole “being awake” thing at this point, so the rest of the night is a blur.

Aside from classes, I spent this week exploring new cafes (I’ll never be able to sit in a stupid Starbucks again.  The cafes here are incredible.  And so cheap! I would jokingly say “I’m never coming back!” but we just covered the exact day of my return.)  We also went to a super cool cemetery.  I am well aware of how weird that sentence sounds, but seriously it was beautiful.  I, personally, find it incredible the way the Spanish culture treats death.  All of the tombs are brightly colored and celebrated and we spent probably an hour wandering the vivid rows of cherished loved ones before returning to a nearby café.  The funniest part is that earlier that day, we had all taken a trip to a nearby town and visited a Midwives Clinic, so our day pretty much started with contraception and birth and ended with death.  Talk about full circle.

In related news: We got lost in Zona 3 this week.  So that was pretty awful and terrifying.  I didn’t tell my mom this yet because I figured she wouldn’t think it was funny, but hey, shit happens, right?  Our school is in Zona 1, really close to Parque Central, which is pretty much one of the safest areas in the city. It’s beautiful and everything you could possibly want in a cute little park with rooftop cafes and street dogs roaming around.  Zona 3, on the other hand, is probably not where you want to be if you’re small and white and blonde.   After seeing all the empty backpacks tied to storefront window bars, I quickly snuck my phone into my crotch and all my money and valuables into my bra.  “Why do empty backpacks lying around freak you out?” Because if you’re a thief and you steal a backpack, you probably take all the valuable things you want, and then what?  You ditch the backpack.  Because what do you need 4,000 backpacks for?  Exactly.  So there I was, with my important belongings stuffed into private places and an empty backpack taunting potential rascals, walking down a relatively sketchy street as it began to rain.  After about an hour and a few really bad feelings in my gut we made it back to Zona 1, where I was tempted to kiss the ground until I remembered that my stomach already hated me. The moral of this story is that I always make it back! Right mom? Right? …Right?

So we spent this week exploring Xela, attending 6:50am Spanish Yoga classes, and sipping on $1.50 wine at cute cafes.  As stressed as I was trying to get things figured out with a family member who does not share my love for plans, things are now all figured out and I can go back to enjoying cheap wine!  If you know me, you can probably imagine how relieved I am to finally have a plan, even if it’s greatly different from the original.

Tomorrow, I’m going to climb a volcano.  I’d like to thank the antibiotics I took today for finally calming my stomach down so that I can stop looking at WebMd and convincing myself that I’m going to die.  Try focusing on Spanish for 5 hours a day when you’re trying to plan your own funeral!! It’s really, really difficult.  On the upside, I’m adjusting much better to the toilet paper issue that I struggled with the first week.  For this reason alone, I am beginning to reconsider religion and the existence of a God.

I almost just typed “sorry that I don’t have more to say-I guess my life just isn’t interesting.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, Andi.  You spoiled little brat.  My life is pretty god damn cool.  Here and at home.

Until next time!